This painting is more about how Imogen feels standing at the edge of sleep and less about all the things I do for her or give her to help her battle those fears.
In my previous paintings of her, I have loaded her down with protective garb, companions and good luck charms but in this one, she is vulnerable and alone in her cotton nightie and stark surroundings. There is no one there to hold her hand, keep her warm or protected.
Imogen feels so alone when she sleeps. I wish I could accompany her in her slumber but I guess the closest I can come to do that is to just by holding her next to me when she comes to sleep in our bed in the middle of the night. Maybe when I let her crawl into our bed, I am in her dreams. Her ‘warrior’ mommy, her ‘hold the lantern’ mommy, her ‘I am always here mommy and her ‘I will never turn you away’ mommy.
That fear is one less for her to feel, just by sliding over in bed and welcoming her tiny little body into a spot next to mine. In fact, ever since I started doing just that, she seems to be needing it less and less.