Mixed Media Artist

Harlequin ‘s Paper Hat

This is a 9″x12″ mixed media painting on wood. The sides are 1.5″ deep and are painted turquoise.

This painting is SOLD

Keeping the peace is difficult in my house lately. My girls are driving me crazy because they just so happen to be driving one another crazy. What is up with that? Pushing each others buttons with such skill, you’d think they had some fancy paper degree professing their outstanding abilities in this area. It is driving me crazy and today as I was having my shower I prayed that I would have patience to deal with them with kindness and compass…..

…was that screaming I could hear? They hadn’t even waited for me to get out of the shower. I was praying for patience and instantly I was given a chance to exercise that patience. Was I willing them to not get along? Hmmmmm….

I kept my patience. I was cool. I didn’t yell and most importantly, I was kind. Sometimes I forget to be kind. Sometimes I am not any older than them and can give them a run for their money when it comes to pushing buttons or at least (I admit I have actually said this) throwing around the “Whatever” s.

Really.

The kindness really did work …as did separating them as quickly as possible. To both, I tried to show them how the other might be feeling in the situation, without using any blame words. Just tried to appeal to their compassionate side because one thing my girls have in spades is compassion. For other people as well, but for each other. Other than in the heat of the moment, the last thing that they want is the other to be hurting. They are protective of one another. They love one another deeply and often, even call each other their ‘best friend’.

Peace lasted for another whole 30 minutes until I had to separate them again but doing it swiftly, without blame and with real ‘calm’… (not that pursed lip silence that we try to fool everyone with ‘calm’)(by the way, you’re not fooling anyone! My eight year old can read me like a book “you are not saying anything mum, but I know you are mad)….anyway, that worked.

The other thing that worked for me today was using the phrase ‘this is an opportuntity for you to (rise above) (You can fill in the blank). I used this with my eight year old and it really worked. She rose above it. Good for her, I am proud. I know that it is not easy to do that.

So it was a tumultuous day but a good one, I think. Perhaps tomorrow will be smoother. Perhaps I can shower without visions of Psycho dancing through my head. Simple pleasures, hey? Ahhh, yes simple pleasures.

maria@mariapacewynters.com

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7 responses

  1. Shelly

    She is beautiful…
    It sounds like you are on the right track …it sounds like the girls are merely trying to establish their boundaries…by demonstrating loving kindness you are teaching them to respond, not react. Good job, Maria! When they start driving you crazy…and they will…just remember to RESPOND, not react.

    November 18, 2011 at 4:46 am

  2. Well, today was a good day but I promise to keep trying!

    November 18, 2011 at 5:34 am

    • Shelly

      ((hug)) It’s something I have yet to master…

      November 18, 2011 at 5:47 am

  3. This mother and fellow artist loved your art and post today. I only hope I did as well when my children were little. Thanks for sharing

    November 20, 2011 at 7:06 pm

    • Judy, I am sure you did! Thanks for the comment and thanks for stopping by,

      November 26, 2011 at 3:24 am

  4. Maria,

    I laughed when I read this one, but immediately felt guilty. I found humor because I survived the same sort of situation – I’m not scott free yet, as the kids are still home, but they are a wee bit older than yours, so the battles have shifted subtly. At least I can shower in peace. I love your mantra – this is an opportunity for you to rise above this. It’s an opportunity for your child and for you. 🙂 hang in there, Maria!!

    From another Mom who’s been there and lived, and I don’t think my kids are too scarred….

    November 22, 2011 at 2:32 am

    • I appreciate your comment. That is thing I always worry about, damaging them! Hopefully not.
      They are good girls really but separating them seems to be really working … that and staying as calm as possible. I find the more snappy and uptight they are the more they mirror that behavior. There is nothing more aggravating than having some act just like you are acting when it is NOT your finest moment.

      November 26, 2011 at 3:30 am

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