This is a 6″x6″ mixed media painting on paper covered canvas. The sides are 1.5″ deep and are painted red,
This painting is $65 and is available HERE.
This is another nameless mug shot from 1900. This one is from my home town of Victoria, so I have actually walked the same streets she walked … well, not exactly.
This is a 4″x6″ mixed media painting on paper covered canvas.
It is funny how we need constant reminders in life. Reminders about things that we’ve already learned. Reminders about things that we have tried to to teach others, mainly our children.
Recently when I was away visiting my family with my husband and two daughters I was struck by how Imogen (my 6 year old) was constantly asking what we were going to be doing next. She asked this question even when she was in the middle of doing something that she was really enjoying. It was like she was trying to hold on to the good feeling she was having by being insured that she still going to be enjoying herself during her next activity and her next. Yet, she was worrying so much about having a good time in her future activities that she wasn’t really enjoying the fun activity she was presently taking part in. Partially maybe, but not entirely.
Remind you of anyone? Well, it reminded me of me .
Ever since I have arrived home, I have had a kind of ill feeling in my belly. Like a feeling of dread or foreboding. I didn’t want to come back this time and I really can honestly say that I am always happy to get home. Back to my life, my home. Always sad to leave my family and Victoria but happy to be back. Not this time though. I have been trying to figure out why this time is different. Perhaps I realize the possibility of ever returning to Victoria is nil to none. Perhaps I realize that if I had realized that when I moved here over a decade ago, I would never have moved here in the first place. Perhaps I realize that realization is untrue because I have to be here. My soul mate is here. The problem is, he wants to get back there too. But how? We could fill rooms and rooms of worry jars with that question. And we have, late at night looking at house listings on the internet and dreaming about having enough money to purchase something that costs twice as much and half the size as the house that we own. Now tell me if this isn’t a wast of time for two people that have so little time in the first place! So much for living in the moment, hey Imogen?
When I was a little bit older than Imogen I traveled to Ireland with my parents and little sister. On arrival at the Shannon Airport I was fairly miserable. I had an earache on the plane and was feeling tired. It was my first long flight as a child and I really didn’t enjoy the experience. I remember being in the back of the rental car driving to Waterford City to see all my relatives and I was most likely whining about feeling so awful. When I think about my parents at this time I realize now how excited they must have been. My Mum was was going to see her Mother and she probably hadn’t seen her for over eight years. Obviously, this was lost on the nine year old me but now when I think about it, I realize how anxious, nervous and excited my parents (only 32 after all) were feeling. I know when I am feeling this way and my girls are being difficult or moody I am struck with feelings of impatience with them. Like they should understand at six and three how important this is to me, which is ridiculous.
Anyway, my Dad turned to me in the back seat of the car and he told me something that has always stayed with me and really changed the way I think about life. He said that he understood that I wasn’t feeling well but that I could either choose to be miserable about it or not to be miserable about it. It was my choice.
To me, the idea that I actually had a choice to feel good or bad when I was obviously feeling bad was kind of like a slap in the face but some part of me liked the idea that it was MY choice to feel better, or to at least try to feel better. I had never before realized that I had the power to make my life better just by choosing to do so. That is some power to have and a major revelation for a nine year old.
In my life, choosing to make my life better has always been by living for right now and not dwelling on what the future holds. We can’t ever really know anyway, can we? It is easy to say worry is a wasted energy but it is hard to live those words. No words are more true. And I know that my daughter(s) will learn more from my actions than my words. So today, right now I am choosing NOT to feel miserable about it.
After all, life is so good to me right now.
Right at this moment.
I am so blessed.
So, so, so blessed.
This is a 12″x30″ mixed media painting on canvas.
Available on ETSY
Sometimes I think that I am a backward artist. I think about the reasoning behind the painting either during or after I have painted it. I also often do the painting first and then go back and do a smaller painting or drawing. I don’t wait to think about why I am painting something. I think that is why I have been so prolific these last two years. If I waited I would be still waiting ( and I did for 18 years). I am drawn to things or have an idea of what I want to paint but the bigger picture doesn’t usually hit me until after I am well on my way.
If you are inspired to do something, do it now and ask why later. Your genius doesn’t want to have to explain themselves all the time. You gotta trust that they know what they are talking about. (Just like my girls have to trust ME).
When I was little I remember playing dress up with my mother’s wedding dress. It was very sixties. Sleek and long, made out of the most amazing white brocade material. She had an amazing figure but the dress wasn’t really to her liking. It was a little too modern for her, hence the reason I was allowed to play with it. The flowers on the material were huge roses? peonies? really big beautiful flowers, anyway. The wedding veil also had a huge flower on the front so when I started painting this one it made me think of her veil. I remember putting that veil on and pretending that I was getting married. This occupied my mind a lot as a little girl, ‘Getting Married’.
At twenty five, in fear of being left on the shelf, I got married. OOPS. Then I got to get divorced two years later. Then I married my soul mate so practice does make perfect. Funny, I never wore a veil to either of my weddings. I actually made a tiara out of wire copper and beads for my second wedding. (See, I told you I was a princess! And yes, it does so count if you make it yourself).
Speaking of little girls thinking of getting married, the other day Imogen scolded me for mispronouncing the name of a boy in her class. She told me that, as she was going to marry him, I should really know his name.
So, she is thinking about that stuff too.
“Imogen, you are in no rush.
You don’t expire and you can’t be left on the shelf.
When it is time to get married you will know.
You will just know.
Now, don’t ask any questions and do what your told.
Trust me, like I trust my genius.”
(Most of the time).
I just finished this 11.5″x15.5″ mixed media painting. Joy, just pure joy.
At the end of September we went to Victoria. September weather is usually pretty reliable and this was no exception. We had a few beach days with the girls. Scarlett is totally into the beach right now. She would throw rocks in the water and scoop water into her sand bucket forever.
This little ACEO is of Scarlett sitting on one of my favorite beaches in Victoria; Willows. In the summer you can get crinkle fries from the little tea house and eat them right on the beach. On a rainy day, you can sit inside and have a cup of tea. It is nothing fancy, it is charity run, but it is one of my most favorite things
This is an original 2.5″x3.5″ mixed media piece on 100% rag paper.
I guess Victoria was on my mind today. I miss it, what can I say …
rain and all.
This is a 2.5″x3.5″ original mixed media painting on 100% rag paper.
We had to make a hard choice today. We’ve decided to not go to Victoria for Christmas. I know it is the smart choice but it makes me a little sad. This painting is of Imogen who is already thinking about what she wants for Christmas and even warned Scarlett (the two year old) about Santa’s ever watchful gaze during a melt down she had today about getting dressed!
What is Imogen she wishing for? A basket for the front of her bike. Decorative and practical.
It is only mid summer so I am sure there will be plenty more wishes by December. Geesh.
We are flying off to Victoria tomorrow. Going ‘home’ for a little visit. I can’t believe I’ve lived in Edmonton for over ten years. That is so crazy. And more than a little sad… you see, I love Victoria for so many reasons. I was born there, which is a tie but my brother in law was born in Germany and I don’t think he is longing to get back. It is more than where you are born and it is even more than where all your family still live, although that is a huge draw. I always thought it was the Ocean that was calling me back or the view of the mountains but that is not it either.
I think that I have finally figured out that it is the familiarity of it that I love. I know it like the back of my hand. Everywhere I go I have been, in some form or another. Even if the shop is new, I know the building or the building before it or even the land before that. I know it. I feel so comfortable there. It really is like being in the comfort of your own home. I have never been able to find that comfort level in Edmonton, it is like I am always looking over my shoulder. In Victoria, I never have to look, because I already know what is there.