I was thinking about loss today.
I had a good cry listening to Yael Naim. Not the “New Soul” song, but track 6 and 7. Usually, those songs would not make me cry. Not like Ben Fold’s “The Luckiest”. I can’t really listen to that song without crying. It is ridiculous. Like Robert Munsch’s “Love You Forever”. Just forget about it. I definitely can’t read it out loud. Imogen usually won’t let me even look at it unless for some reason or another she will show it to me and say, “remember this book?” She looks up at me nervously, curious. Maybe she thinks that I will start bawling right on the spot. Not satisfied with my reaction and perhaps with more than a little morbid curiosity, she will start flipping throughout the pages. “Remember this part?” she asks, again, carefully watching me.
Crying helps me when I feel sad and happy. Today, I was sad. I thought about how some people don’t get a fair deal in life. I thought about losing my own Mother. I thought about dying and leaving my children. I thought about how fast your life can change. And I cried because life can be so raw sometimes. Just so cruel. I thought about that for awhile and about how the opposite of that is the total and utter beauty that life also offers us. The babies that are born to us. The friendships that we develop. The love that we find. The nature that surrounds us. Once again I had to remind myself to live for those things right now because none of us ever know when those things might change and to never take them for granted because there are so many people that would switch places with us in a second. The only way to show respect to those who are suffering is to live life right now, fully present in each moment and, if that means having a good long cry, then so be it.