Mixed Media Artist

Posts tagged “memories

You Never Leave My Thoughts (Memorial Day Painting)

You-Never-Leave-My-THoughts

6.5″x17.5″ mixed media painting on stone paper. There is a .25″ border.

This painting is available HERE

If I had a single flower for every time I think about you, I could walk forever in my garden.  ~Claudia Ghandi

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Memories Of A Girl

This is a 11″x14″ mixed media painting on paper covered wood. The sides are 1.5″ deep and are painted turquoise.

This painting is SOLD


A Magical Time

This is a 8″x24″ mixed media painting on paper covered canvas. The sides are 1.5″ deep and are painted black.

Click on image to make it fit on your screen

This painting is available

maria@mariapacewynters.com

Monday morning, Imogen woke with a broken heart. You know, when you wake and there is a single moment when you don’t remember your heart has been broken and then in an instant, you remember. Heart ache. This is how it was for poor dear Imogen, and of course for me too because I feel everything that she feels.  Ah, me.

Sunday was her last show of A Midsummer Night’s Dream.  I let her sleep with me because she was so distraught about it all being over. The people she met made such a huge impact on her.  They treated her with such respect and  love. It was truly a magical experience.  I remember when I was 12 I  had a small part  in The Miracle Worker. It was put on by a professional theatre company in Victoria at the time. I had my costume made from  drawings, just like Imogen did. It was very exciting and a wonderful experience.  When I was considering the amount of school that Imogen was going to miss and the amount of work it was going to mean for all of us, I only had to think back to that time. I remembered it with such fondness, truly one of my best childhood memories.

So, anyway, I was watching her as she opened her eyes that morning. She looked at me for half a second before the pain of her broken heart crossed before her eyes.  The thing about a broken heart is that it does get better. Time does heal. I know that her heart is bigger now and her memories are full and rich. I know that she will carry this experience with her for the rest of her life. Her love  and understanding of Shakespeare has been awakened, she could recite the entire play for you if you asked.

And you know, it has made me kind of realize something. Something that I kind of forgot.  Life IS your experiences, your experiences become you memories.  I have vowed to create more experiences. The great thing about theatre and live music is it forces you to be present and, if you are like me and have trouble being present that is really special.

A Midsummer Night’s Dream video clip

“Life will break you. Nobody can protect you from that, and living alone won’t either, for solitude will also break you with its yearning. You have to love. You have to feel. It is the reason you are here on earth. You are here to risk your heart. You are here to be swallowed up. And when it happens that you are broken, or betrayed, or left, or hurt, or death brushes near, let yourself sit by an apple tree and listen to the apples falling all around you in heaps, wasting their sweetness. Tell yourself you tasted as many as you could.”
Louise Erdrich, The Painted Drum LP

“The emotion that can break your heart is sometimes the very one that heals it…”
Nicholas Sparks, At First Sight

“Someday you’re gonna look back on this moment of your life as such a sweet time of grieving. You’ll see that you were in mourning and your heart was broken, but your life was changing…”
Elizabeth Gilbert

A life-long blessing for children is to fill them with warm memories of times together. Happy memories become treasures in the heart to pull out on the tough days of adulthood.
Charlotte Davis Kasl


Breathing Inspiration


This is a 18″x36″ mixed media painting on canvas. The sides are 2″ deep and are pale jade.

Here is one that was strictly divine. I had this undeniable urge to paint a girl drinking tea with Koi wallpaper behind her.

This is how it turned out.

The girl started as my daughter Imogen and then morphed into me as a young girl. Funny thing, I can also see my nephew Jacob in it as well. It never ceases to amaze me how we live on through the features and mannerisms of other family members.

This makes me think of another good expression of my mothers’:

” they will never be dead when she/he is alive”.

Just another good old (morbid) Irish saying.


Drifting In And Out

drifting-in-and-out

I finished this painting today.

The  title refers to the way our memories fade in and out.  Some memories are so clear while others are foggy and transparent.  The memories that are clear are not always the most important, often we wonder why we have held on to that memory at all.   How can we remember things so vividly from long ago but barely remember things that happened to us last week?

The memory can be selective and often distorted.  What is really true, what is fabricated, what is embellished?   I often wonder these things.  And I often worry what memories I am creating for my children.  What are they going to remember?  Mommy keeping the house clean?  Our walks to the library?  Ballet class?  Our endless photo sessions?  Watching too many Barbie movies?   My limited patience?  My reclusive tendencies?  How will my choices effect them in their adult lives?  Did  I give them a feeling of entitlement?* And on and on.  It  sure can be exhausting.

I remember somewhere I heard/read of a woman ( I think it was some film star) saying she had absolutely no memory of her childhood.  It was like she didn’t exist before a certain time.  I wish I could remember if I had read it or heard it on TV but there you go, my memory fails me.  I found that idea fascinating though.   No memories of being a child.  That would be so odd.   I wonder if she ever had children of her own. What kind of Mother was she?   How would she relate to their childhood?   Surely the memories of our own childhood shape the way we raise our children.  For good or for bad.  Isn’t that why we hold on to traditions?  To try to relive our childhood through our children’s experience of the same things we did when we were children.

I’ll stop now, I could go on and on.

*I am currently reading ‘Outliers’ by Malcolm Gladwell

This painting is available on etsy


Undecided

undecided

Another painting from my new series “Too Small, Too Young”.

Undecided, 15.5 “x 20”, mixed media painting on wood stretcher.

This series is about being a child now, looking back and/or remembering being a child and also about being an adult/parent watching  your child grow up.  It is bitter sweet to say the least.

Sometimes I find myself looking at my children and feeling  unbearably sad.  I know that this sounds crazy  but it is because I am not really looking at them right now, instead I am thinking about how much smaller they were not so long ago or how soon they are going to be all grown and leaving me.  Awful I know, but it is the truth.  I think about how far away my own childhood seems now, how foggy my memories are.  How young my parents were.

In many ways, these are timeless paintings.  They live neither in or out doors but exist simultaneously in both.  If as though, our memories can be in some other plain all together, existing in our mind but also in this place that shifts back and forth, in and out of focus.  Often hard for us to grasp completely, save a snippet here, a smidgen there.

I guess in these works I am trying to capture  childhood, mine and my children’s and to somehow hold onto it for a little bit longer.  If I can’t manage it in real life, perhaps painting it will  help me remember to think less and be more.